But God had a plan. He has used my time talking w/ M to help heal me and help guide her (I hope at least). For me the pain started over a year ago, but for M it has only been a few months. I am at a different stage in the process but our situations are so similar that I can't help but feel her pain and know where she is. I have been able to share how I got through and how I can now feel (dare I say it) happy with where my life is today. Did I want to get divorced and be a single mom? NO WAY, but it is where I am and I can choose to be sad about it or I can choose to make the best of it. And THAT is what I choose!
Here is an excerpt from an email I sent her today. I am not sure it "flows" with what I wrote above but I guess I just want to save it because I truly feel it was God inspired.
I know that he and I will never be back together. And I am ok with that. I am sad that our marriage is over because I never expected to be divorced but I can honestly say I don't think I could ever trust him enough to get back together with him. I was really nervous about going to the lawyer and signing documents but I was not sad at all. I tend to cry at the drop of a hat and I haven't cried at all. It almost seems weird to me, but I think I am past that stage of mourning my relationship with him. I am just ready to move past it all. I know you aren't there yet so it probably seems impossible to feel that way. I know I didn't ever expect to feel this way. I think I also feel this way because I know that God has a plan for me through all of this, he is going to turn this bad into something good for Him. Tuesday morning (before we signed papers) I was so nervous, but when I got home I found this verse (I don't even remember where now, maybe that website I sent you).
John 14:1 (NIV)
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.
That verse was just what I needed Tuesday. And today, I am still so in awe of how God reassures me. My friend posted on her facebook page:
What is forgiveness? It's the ability to know down in your soul that you can now handle the pain that was caused you. It heals your heart, not theirs.
again, just what i needed today. I think I am moving into forgiveness and that is why I am not hurting from all the divorce stuff anymore. It is a process, it doesn't just happen. I am just at a point in the process where I can start forgiving and not hurting. You will get to that point too, down the road, and you will hurt less. I pray that for you.
And I figured I would share a little more about me and what my life is like in hopes that maybe it lifts up someone else. I know there are others out there hurting from something someone else has done and maybe